Friday, December 14, 2012

Matt Lauer rants about seeing the vaginas of several actresses, Man Busted for Stealing Miley Cyrus Blow-Up Doll and man carved pentagram on son

Matt Lauer rants about seeing the vaginas of several actresses, Man Busted for Stealing Miley Cyrus Blow-Up Doll and man carved pentagram on son


Top 5 Weird, Funny & sexy News of today in reverse order.......


Top 5-Gun-toting Santa issues warning to gangsters (nice one)

ABBOTSFORD, B.C. – Gangsters, drug dealers and prolific offenders will receive a Christmas card from Abbotsford police featuring an image of Santa Claus clad in tactical gear and bearing the greeting, “Which list will you be on next year?” Const. Ian


 MacDonald said he hopes the recipients will choose to be “nice” next year. “The front of the card is a bit provocative, but it’s designed that way so people will read on and maybe reflect on the decisions they’ve made in the past,” MacDonald said. The recipients — some known by police to own firearms and other weapons — are asked to consider themselves and their families, and “make a better” lifestyle choice.

Top 4-Dozens of dead cats found in fridge, freezer (why this happen)

Police and humane society officials are investigating after more than 140 dead cats were found; most stuffed in a fridge, in two apartments in Windsor, Ont., on Friday morning.
Officers found 124 dead cats in the fridge and freezer, along with at least 50 live cats. The search of another suite in the same building led to the discovery of 20 more dead cats in a fridge. Police were called by humane society officers at around 8:30 a.m. to assist them in removing the animals. The stench of urine and feces in the suites was "overwhelming," Sgt. Matthew D'Asti said in a statement. No charges have been laid. Police said a man and woman were transported to hospital for "assessments."

Top 3-Brent Troy Bartel allegedly carved pentagram on son on 12/12/12 (Bad tradition)

A MAN called police to allege that he had carved a pentagram on his six-year-old son's back and splashed the boy's blood on the front door of their home. "I shed some innocent blood," Brent Troy Bartel, 39, told a police officer on December 12, TV station WFAA
reported."I inscribed a pentagram on my son," added Bartel, of Richland Hills, Texas, when asked what he meant, FOX 29 reported, citing AP. When asked why, Bartel said, “Because it’s a holy day”, FOXNews reported When Bartel - who lived in Fort Worth -was talking to police, his wife was at a neighbour’s house telling police that he was attacking their son. Police found the six-year-old boy shirtless and shivering in a pair of pyjama pants, said Richland Hills Police Sergeant Nathan Stringer.
A large pentagram - the five-pointed star often associated with satanism or the occult - was carved into most of his back and blood was smeared on the front door, he added. The boy was taken to Cooks Children’s Hospital, while Bartel was arrested and charged with aggravated assault on a family member. He was being held on a $50,000 bond and awaiting a mental assessment. Police believe he carved into the boy with a box cutter found at the scene. The boy has been released from hospital into his mother's care. His wounds did not require stitches and a police spokesman said he was doing OK. “This is something you normally hear about in the movies, not something you expect to see," Sgt. Stringer said. "It breaks your heart, because I didn't know he was capable of doing that," neighbor Joyce Pierce told WFAA. "We will be praying for all of them because we don't know what went wrong."

Top 2-Man Beat Ex Over Refusal to Make Kool-Aid (weird story)
DECEMBER 13--A Tennessee man assaulted the mother of his three-month-old son after she refused to make him some Kool-Aid, police report. Robert Joseph Atkins, 31, was
charged with aggravated kidnapping, domestic violence, and violating a protection order following the incident early Monday at the woman’s Knoxville residence. Atkins is pictured in the adjacent mug shot. The victim told Anderson County Sheriff’s Department deputies that Atkins, her ex-boyfriend, arrived at her home and refused demands to leave the premises. Around 4:30 AM, Atkins asked the woman “to make him some Kool Aid and after the victim stated no the defendant jumped up and started striking her in the face,” according to an incident report.
Atkins subsequently fled the home with the pair’s infant son (but not before allegedly taking the victim’s keys and cell phone). He was later arrested after being found hiding in the bathroom of a nearby apartment. The baby was returned to his mother, who told deputies that Atkins “had no parental rights to the child


Top 2.1 Man Busted Trying to Steal Miley Cyrus Blow-Up Doll from Novelty Shop (unlucky man)

 

A North Carolina man is facing shoplifting charges after he allegedly stole a blow-up doll resembling Miley Cyrus from a novelty shop Benjamin Greene, 22, was nabbed Tuesday after allegedly swiping the item from a Spencer’s Gifts store in Spartanburg, South Carolina. A worker told cops that she saw Greene remove the “Finally Mylie! Love Doll” from its box and conceal the $19.99 item in his coat. As he departed the store, Greene was confronted by the Spencer’s employee, who told investigators that the blow-up doll fell out of Greene’s jacket, according to a Spartanburg Public Safety report. Distributed by Pipedream Products, the “Mylie” doll was released after the pop singer turned 18 in November 2010. While the doll itself bears no resemblance to the celebrity, the item’s packaging includes a photo of a Cyrus lookalike holding a guitar (and includes copy with risqué references to the performer and her father Bill Ray).

Top 1-Matt Lauer rants; I have seen the vaginas of several famous actresses (video)

 

I have seen the vaginas of several famous actresses. Julianne Moore springs to mind, in a particularly bold bottomless scene in the Robert Altman film Short Cuts. There’s also Heather Graham in Boogie Nights, and I’m pretty sure I can include Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but to be honest, in that famous scene, I’m not really sure what I saw. In all of these cases, should I ever meet one of these famous actresses, and I would for some




reason like to inform them that I have seen their vaginas, (WHICH I SHOULD NOT WANT TO DO) there would be a right way and a wrong way to get that information across. Here’s the right way: “Hello, Ms Moore/Graham/Stone! It’s a real pleasure to meet you. I must say, you were terrific in Short Cuts/Boogie Nights/Basic Instinct.” They would likely graciously thank me, but also know that, for better or worse, I have seen their performance in that movie, and as part and parcel of that performance, their vagina. Now, here’s the WRONG WAY, (from Entertainment Weekly   When (Matt Lauer) greeted Anne Hathaway on the Today show this morning, the host got right down to business: “Good to see you,” he said. “Seen a lot of you lately.
Lauer, of course, was referring to Hathaway’s major wardrobe malfunction at Monday’s Les Mis premiere. While exiting her car in a tight Tom Ford gown, the Oscar nominee accidentally flashed a crowd of photographers — who quickly noticed that Hathaway wasn’t wearing underwear. Wow. “Seen a lot of you lately?” Hey, Matt Lauer! You’re gross! Hathaway appeared to initially respond as though she thought Lauer was commenting about her being out in the media more than usual, because she was promoting a film. But then, Matt makes it clear- he was definitely informing her that he saw her vagina. “Let’s just get it out of the way, you had a little wardrobe malfunction the other night, what’s the lesson learned from something like that?” Uh, how about “don’t go on TV shows hosted by weird pervs?”Of course, she’s Anne Hathaway, so she handled the question with class, or as much class as one can possibly muster when a 50-something year old man tells a woman more than 20 years his junior on live TV that he recently saw her vagina.I mean, I hear that, and you know what I think? What a great conversation to have at BREAKFAST TIME. Congratulations, showbiz! You done it again!
 

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