New-Strap-on Condom invented for Drunken People

The Sensis sheath is being hailed as a breakthrough for all men who have experienced passion-killing delays at the crucial moment. Mr Thompson, a former carpenter now attending to an entirely different type of wood, said he got the idea after unsuccessfully trying to put on an ordinary condom after a night on the town.

He said: 'I couldn't see anything so I tried to open the window to take advantage of the street lights, but I couldn't really see anything. Between the alcohol and the fumbling it was one big flop.’the strap-on Sensis condom comes complete with quickie pull-on straps and has already proved popular in the US. The man from Miami is now launching his strap on sheaths in Europe. He claimed: 'I've sold two million of these in the US, so I know they work.'

Survive-Man plummets after forgetting keys

STRATFORD, Ont. - Kids, don't try this at home – not even in an attempt to get home.

A 19-year-old Ontario man survived a seven-metre fall after trying to jump from the roof of an apartment building to his own building next door after he realized he had forgotten his keys. Police said the man was returning from visiting a friend at 3 a.m. Saturday when he made the unwise choice to leap to the gap to his building.His injuries were not considered life-threatening.

Strange-Scientists stung by theft of research bees

Several thousand bees that were part a multi-million pound neuroscience research project have been stolen from a British university. Police in the Scottish region of Tayside were appealing for information on Tuesday after four bee hives containing several thousand British black bees were stolen from a medical school in the city of Dundee.

“This theft will undoubtedly hamper our research,” said Dr Chris Connolly, the lead researcher on the Dundee project, who reported the bees missing on Sunday.

In a statement he described the bees as “very unique” and said they should be easy to identify if they are sold on.

Nachoman-'Not-yo' cheese lands man in jail

While stealing nacho cheese may sound like the punch line to an old joke, a Chicago man learned Sunday it's actually no laughing matter. Michael Richards, 50, is being held in lieu of $10,000 bail on robbery charges. Prosecutors say Richards bought a bag of potato chips from the 7-Eleven store on the 1300 block of South Halsted, then began pumping nacho cheese — which he had not paid for — into the bag.When the store clerk told him the cheese was for customers who bought it as part of a nacho tray, he allegedly pulled the man’s arm behind his back and threatened him.

Police arrested Richards Saturday a block away from the store.

Special-Cabinet minister Danny Alexander accused of farting

BROKEN Liberal Democrat promises have left a bad taste in the mouth but now one of their ministers has been accused of causing an unholy stink. Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander, dubbed Beaker, was apparently unable to contain himself as he waited to do a TV interview. He loudly broke wind before he was grilled at Millbank Studios, near Parliament, according to ­broadcasting insiders.

Wow-Samoa jumps back to the future as clocks will go forward 24 hours

SAMOA is going forward in time by one day in an attempt to boost its economy. The Pacific island nation will switch to the west side of the International Date Line so it can be on the same day as neighbours Australia, New Zealand and eastern Asia. It reverses a decision made 119 years ago to go to the east of the line, which roughly runs north to south down the Pacific and separates calendar days. The move put them a day behind but made it easier to trade with America.

Explaining the latest switch, Samoa’s Prime Minister, Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi, said: “In doing business with New Zealand and Australia we’re losing out on two working days a week. While it’s Friday here, it’s Saturday in New Zealand and when we’re at church on Sunday, they’re already doing business in Sydney and Brisbane

Try-Pig bladder chemical 'a cure' for baldness

BALDNESS in men can be cured with a chemical from pigs’ bladders, scientists claim. Cells from the organ are joined with patients’ blood plasma and injected into scalps. The mixture – a powder – forms a protective barrier around existing hair-growing cells while also ­duplicating tissue to promote hair recovery. The powder, called ACell, tricks the body into thinking the scalp cells are in a pre-birth state, which reactivates them. Doctors will test the treatment on 20 patients in the UK this week after successful US trials