Why-Get a New job - So He can Pay for a New Penis

Lozanov

The painful incident happened at 61-year-old Mr Lozanov's flat just outside the city of Plovdiv, where the two had been getting hammered for most of the day.Mr Lozanov's friend Lyubomir Todorov, 43, decided it would be a great idea to take a decorative - but very real and very sharp - samurai sword hanging on the wall to demonstrate his flawless control of a weapon while intoxicated.The result was pretty much inevitable, as Mr Todorov began swiping wildly with the sword.Our unfortunate victim picks up the story: 'He told me he was a martial arts expert - he was whizzing it around his head.'I went to try and take it off him before he caused an accident - and then he slashed it in front of me.

'I thought he'd missed but then I felt a burning pain and collapsed. He'd sliced the sword through my trousers and lopped off my penis.'

Although clearly sad and very unfortunate, the story is also somewhat heartening - because Mr Lozanov campaigned for his pal's release from prison, after he was given a six-year sentence over the incident.

He did have something of an ulterior motive, though - to get Mr Todorov back into employment in order to raise the cash to pay for a brand, spanking new chopper. 'People tell me I was noble to get him released but I want him to get a job so he can pay the compensation I am due,' Mr Lozanov continued.'There is nothing I can do to change what has happened - it's in the past. I just hope now that, by helping him, it will help me.'

LOL-Dog Tease YouTube video to reach 10 million views

The minute-long video charts the dog's comic devastation as his owner teases him with the news that he's snaffled all of his favourite type ('the maple kind') of bacon. Worse news then comes as it emerges the pooch's feline house buddy has also been getting in on the good stuff (while our canine friend has been off doing other things, presumably).

Painful-Corset piercing craze sees ribbon 'sewn' into backs

Body modification’ fans across the country are trying the unique piercing, which involves sticking hoops into the skin by hand and then threading them with ribbon.But a cosmetic surgeon has warned it is ‘extremely painful’ and could cause horrendous permanent scars and infections.

Corset piercing, which can cost up to £300, can be applied to any part of the
body where the skin is loose.






Different-A vandal spray painted a marriage proposal on a Florida couple's garage door

Cellmate-Teen asks for More Jail time

A teen criminal asked to be sentenced to more than the six months recommended by his lawyer and the crown so he could spend extra time with his cellmate - his stepfather.The defence lawyer for Justin Beynen, 18, and an assistant Crown attorney were asking a Sudbury judge Thursday for a six-month term for a string of convictions. But Beynen wanted more time in jail so he could spend it with his cellmate and stepfather, Jason Hastings. Beynen explained to Ontario Court Justice Normand Glaude he has nowhere to stay when he gets out of jail until Hastings is released in October. Beynen was hoping for a nine-month sentence so they could stay remains cellmates.

Glaude said the courts are not a social agency, but sentenced the teen to the requested nine-month term after hearing the facts of the case.

Beynen pleaded guilty Thursday to two counts of breach of probation, dangerous driving, failing to stop for police, theft of a vehicle, possession of marijuana for the purpose of trafficking and driving without a licence.

Beynen was spotted by police April 4 driving at high speeds through a neighbourhood, hitting a no parking sign and three parked vehicles before finally stopping, assistant Crown attorney Len Walker said.

Different-A vandal spray painted a marriage proposal on a Florida couple's garage door

Nice-New York man trades GETOSAMA license plate for GOTOSAMA

NEW YORK — A retired New York City sergeant who won a court battle to secure his "GETOSAMA" vanity license plate said on Wednesday he's trading it for "GOTOSAMA" to mark the U.S. killing of Osama bin Laden. "It's my way of saying thank you to the troops and everything they sacrificed in order to bring this about," said Arno Herwerth, 46, of Hauppauge. Herwerth in 2007 first got a license plate reading "GETOSAMA" out of irritation that the Al Qaeda leader was still at large after the September 11 attacks.

"I was trying to bring awareness," he said. "I was getting frustrated over the years with that murderer getting away with it and not being captured."

But the state initially declined to give him the vehicle plate because it could be deemed as "derogatory to a particular ethnic group." Herwerth took legal action shortly thereafter and won the right to get the plate.

Wow-On 100th birthday, he married the woman of his dreams

Just ask Rose Pollard Lunsway, 90, and Forrest Lunsway, 100. The California couple of nearly 30 years have been making headlines because they just got around to tying the knot — on Forrest’s 100th birthday. Media outlets call the pair every day, and congratulatory notes have been pouring in from all over the world. Even President Barack Obama sent one, along with a birthday card for the groom. “My husband keeps saying, ‘What in the world is all the fuss about??’” Rose said, laughing. “It is getting to be exhausting, and I’m getting a bit confused. I’m wondering if details are going to get crossed in all these stories because I just can’t keep every detail straight.”